Knausensenteret - After

Well then... I have been to the shrink

and... well... I don't know if he was of some help
everything he told me, I knew from before, so like I though, the whole thing, waste of time. He was OK, but far from good.

New appointment next week, maybe I will get something out of it then...
I doubt.

It's strange to sit there and talk about your stuff to a stranger and he sit there and act all that familiar with you like he do understand you. Do he really understand?

Don't feel comfy at all.
It's like he observe me like some kind of a extinct race or something. It's creepy, and it's make me feel like a psychopath.... which I'm not quite yet - LoL

Knausensenteret - Before

I'm going to Knausensenteret tomorrow
fucking dread...
It's a psychiatric polyclinic, and last time I talked with a shrink... it didn't end well...

It's was after my friend commit suicide.
The shrink, sat there and acted unprofessionally.
He said "I understand you"

WTF do he understand?
Has he seen someone commit suicide in front of him?
NO! So how the fuck do he "understand" how I fucking feel?

It ended with that I totally fucked up his office, and the office lady had to called 911.
Since that, I haven't been to the shrink.

I have to deal with my grief on my own, it doesn't help that others say "it wasn't your fault", when I fail to think that way. So they let me skip the shrink, however, I had to provide a monthly report on how I was or feel.

Fair enough. Anything is better than one hour with shit talk.

Anyways, this time is about school. One of my teacher suspect me of having cheated on one exam.

I want to emphasize that the only basis for my teacher has a suspicion of cheating is that he
found that two of the four questions could not possibly be as similar ones on the sensor guide, unless I had used junk funds, otherwise I had to have a photographic memory.

The teacher had taken various exams that have been published previously, and put it into a new one.
I was lucky to have practiced on an exam booklet with two of the stated tasks.

Allow me to point out that the sensor guide for those old exams paper was published on Fronter where all of us students have access to practice for the exam.

I have argued, discussed and explained with the teacher and the school since February,
to prove my fucking innocence. But it doesn't look like any help.

The worst thing is that the character wasn't any good, it was only a D. If I really had cheated, I had at least focused on a B or a C at least....

But here I am, sitting with a headache, frustration and stress, and the one I trust and talk to aren't present, and give comfort or support either.

What a wonderful life...

Best wake-up call ever!

Second day

I miss him

I feel so lonely without him

It's like I have lost a part of myself

...I don't like this feeling

I can't see him, and I can't get a hold of him

My feeling is overwhelming

Can't believe I have become so attached to him

I miss those days where I can contact him wheneever I want

I miss the joke and the attention I got from him

even his sarcasm...

The night that I enjoyed so much is now a time with grief

...I miss him

Angel cake

A friend of mine sent me this recipe of an Angel cake that is a very "airy" and low-calorie, and told me I had to try it out. Not sure where she found it, but sounds interesting.

What you need:

• 145 g mel
• 100 g melis
• 200 g sukker
• 1 ts. cream of tartar (vinsten)
• 14 eggehviter
• litt salt
• 2 ts. ekte vanilje extract

Instructions:

1. Bland mel sammen med melis i en skål. Bland det godt sammen og legg den til siden.
2. Bland sukker og cream of tartar sammen.
3. Så trenger du 14 store eggehvite (romstemperatur)
4. Miks det godt sammen med litt salt når den har begynt a skummen tilsetter du sukker som er blandet med vinsten. Har du ikke vinsten tar du bare litt dråper sitron saft på den stadium miks i cirka 7 minutter videre slik at marengs er stiv.
5. Tilsett så ekte vanilje extract.
6. Så tar du å sikte i mel med en dørslag i 3-4 omganger.
7. Bland forsiktig, det må holde seg luftig.
8. Så tar du resten av melen…..
9. Sett det  i en bakeform som du har smurt med smør og stek det på 160 C i cirka 40-50 minutter
10. Stek den til den er  gylden brun på toppen.
    La kaken stå i formen i minst 30 minutter før du tar den ut ellers så faller den fra hverandre.

Decorations:

• Jeg strør bare litt melis over hele Angel Food Cake
• Så pynter jeg med litt fersk bær på toppen.
  Jeg brukte fersk bringbær men jordbær eller andre bær går jo like bra.
• Strø litt melis over bæren og kaken.

The dreams I had

The dreams I had when I was a child, were drawn to my heart's desire, with scribbles that wouldn't fade away and are connected to the future that I draw.

The clear skies were endlessly blue.
And my innocent heart, being satisfied,
was attracted to them I finally obtained wings, with which I could fly freely.

I want to go to the end of the skies with my pure eyes desire.
If one wish could be granted out of colorless darkness.
I feel that it should be to grab onto a dream and never be tamped to let go.

The dreams I had when I was a child,
was drawn eternally with scribbles that wouldn't fade away and are connected to the future I wish for.

Diet for those who have the will - only 3days

Dette er en 3 dagers meny, som du selv bestemmer hvilke ukedager det skal være på.
Jeg har personlig prøvd ut menyen for å teste om den er effektiv eller ei, og må si at det hele var veldig effektiv, men det kreves vilje styrke.

Det jeg liker med denne oppsettet, er at etter 3 dager, kan man spise normalt igjen.
Jeg merket at etter 3 dager, hadde magen "krympet", selv om jeg kunne spise vanlig kost igjen, har porsjonene blitt mindre for hver uke (jeg fulgte menyen i 1mnd).

Indigriensene som er satt sammen gir en "kjemi" som gjør at du "renser" tarmene.
Derfor er det viktig at du følger det til punkt og prikke.

NB!

• Hver dag minst 5 glass med vann
• Drikk mer vann mellom måltidene, hvis du føler det "klør" i tennene (jeg brukte å drikk 1 glass med vann før måltidene i tillegg, for å få den "mett" følelsen)
• Ikke noe sukker eller melk i te/kaffe
• Bare salt og pepper som kan tilsettes i matvarene

 Dag 1:

• Frokost:
• 1 toast med peanøttsmør
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

• Lunsj:
• 1 toast med 1/2 boks med tunfisk (ikke i olje, men i vann)
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

• Middag:
• 2 skiver med kjøtt (kjøtt type: valgfritt)
• 10 grønne bønner
• 10 svarte druer
• 1 eple
• 1 kule vanilje is
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

 Dag 2:

• Frokost:
• 1 toast med 1/2 banan
• 1 kokt egg
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

• Lunsj:
• 1 yoghurt (valgfritt smak)
• 2 salte kjekser (jeg brukte Ritz)
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

• Middag:
• 2 pølser (valgfritt, men helst lite fett)
• 1/2 brokkoli
• 10 svarte druer
• 1/2 banan
• 1/2 kule vanilje is
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

 Dag 3:

• Frokost:
• 1 eple
• 1 salt kjeks med 1 skive ost (anbefalt: hvitost, mindre smak/fett)
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

• Lunsj:
• 1 toast med 1 kokt egg
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

• Middag:
• 1 boks med tunfisk (ikke i olje, men i vann)
• 1/2 blomkål
• 10 svarte druer
• 1/2 banan og honningmelon
• 1/2 kule vanilje is
• 1 kopp med te/kaffe

 NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! NB!! 

Dette er ikke noe mirakel meny - gi det tid.

Det er ikke noe garanti at dette er den rette dieten for deg, selv om jeg syns den var effektiv betyr det ikke at den er like effektiv på deg - keep in mind that we're all build differently.

Derfor vær forsiktig, ingen kjenner kroppen (forhåpentligvis) bedre enn deg selv så vær snill med deg selv.

Good Luck =)